Rat Arsed

The last post made me think of this.

Tonight I'll do the last of four full night shifts. Nine 'til seven. They are the strangest shifts. The start is quite normal but then as the day time shifts end and day time problems subside the surreal takes over. As the morning develops and people get up to work normality returns in the shape of the poor sod who has woken up to find his car stolen.

It is circular in its own way.

During the surreal hours, from three 'til approaching six in the morning the calls that come in tend to be strange and sometimes eery. The half a dozen youths loitering at the end of the street at four in the afternoon would not get noticed. At four in the morning they create a very different impression.

The gaps between calls only exacerbate the oddness of the hour, the isolation. After three there will be perhaps eight Call Handlers for the whole of the county and still we'll be sitting waiting............and waiting.

This set of shifts has seen Trivial Pursuit played. Six of us will be playing that while the other two may be dealing with a rape and a domestic.

Last night..........sorry, this morning..............we played a 'strange sexual encounter' game. There are all kinds of practices and they all have names. We had to guess what they were.

For instance, did you know what an Ass Hamster is? That's one of the easier ones to work out and yes, it does consist of sticking a Hamster up your arse. Apparently the movement is supposed to stimulate the parts that other......rodents?........cannot. However time is of the essence. They can only survive up there for three or four minutes.

That's when I came out with my quip, 'Gives a whole new meaning to the term Rat Arsed'.

Here's a harder one for you; Wolf Bagging .

We do live in an odd world.